I was not planning to write more about Helen’s birthday, but after the last post several people asked how her birthday went. Here is the follow-up.
On Monday, Helen’s actual birthday, she had a tough morning. Not because she was a year older, but because she had to be out the door for school by 7:15 a.m. That has been tough on all of us. The day was nice, though. Her class sang Happy Birthday to her, and that night we had a quiet, but special, family dinner. I found lox at the grocery store, so we had one of our favorite staple meals from home – bagels and cream cheese with tomatoes, red onions, and cucumbers. Only we did not have bagels. Nor did we have Friedbert’s special home-delivered bread. We had bread from the bakery at the grocery store, which was tasty, but pretty crumbly.
Today we celebrated Helen’s birthday at school. I don’t know if it came across in the last post, but I was nervous about it. It is one thing to bring cupcakes for a class full of kids; it is another to make lunch for everyone and, possibly – although I wasn’t sure – to throw a full blown party. Two factors contributed to my being nervous. First, nobody could tell me what was expected of us. I got bits and pieces from her teacher and from other parents, but no set of instructions from start to finish. Should there be decorations? Choices of food? How much food? Activities? Would we embarrass ourselves (and Helen) by bringing the sandwiches in our plastic dish bowl instead of in a princess-themed serving dish?
The second reason I was nervous is that the school is very regimented. No dropping by your kid’s classroom to see what they’re up to. Parents drop off their kids in the front part of the school, and that is it. When you arrive for pick-up, a person with a microphone and speaker calls to your child. You do not walk in to get him. There seem to be all sorts of rules and expectations like that for the parents. At least, that is the vibe we have gotten. So, with the birthday party, I was nervous about crossing a line parents are not supposed to cross; say, by planning too much of a party, or too little, or by bringing too much food, or by not bringing enough, etc.
But even as I went back and forth on what to bring and how to present it, a voice inside me said, “You are over thinking this. Whatever you do will be fine. Once it’s over you’ll realize you did not need to worry so much.”
Now that it is over, I can honestly say I did not over think it. From the moment I walked into the classroom, the teachers left me in charge. The kids immediately swarmed around me and started asking a million and one questions in the way that pre-schoolers do, about what food I brought, where I live, where was Helen’s mother (at Spanish class), what is my favorite color, have I been to Disney Land, can I tie this shoe, and so on. Once I got them to sit down, Helen, the teachers and I handed out the food. Thank goodness we had enough. Then a teacher put on some music. But she looked a little hesitant, as if maybe she were waiting for me to do something else instead. I’ll never know. When I brought out the cupcakes, the teacher made an announcement: “Children, there will be no cake at today’s party. We are having cupcakes instead.” So I guess cup cakes are not the norm, but the kids seemed happy enough to have them. Midway through the party, a parent from the other preschool class, where they were also having a party, brought the teachers in my classroom plates with food from the other party. Was I supposed to do the same? Had Helen’s teachers sent out an S.O.S. for some normal food? Again, I’ll never know. Anyway, I spent the rest of the party on the floor surrounded by kids, trying to answer their questions and entertaining them with my funny accent. After about 50 minutes, the teacher pulled out some handi-wipes, wiped everyone's hands and faces, and sent them out to recess. We did a quick cleanup, then I was ushered to the door and I went home.
 |
Midway through the party. Helen is at the back table, facing the camera and wearing a
white headband. Her teacher is in the back of the room, putting on music. |
By the most important standard, the party was a success. Helen had an absolutely fantastic time. She was so proud – of herself, of her parents, of her friends, of everything. Her smile says it all:
So am I glad we did the party? Of course I am. But at no point did I feel like, “This was easier than I thought it would be.”
While I am on the subject of school, Max did not let us take a picture of him in his uniform on the first day, but yesterday he relented. Here he is, wearing the uniform they wear on days when they have P.E.
Max might deny this one day, but he told us when we get back to Oakland he wants to keep wearing a school uniform because it is a lot easier. Go figure. -- Harrison